Sài Gòn của tôi – “sáng nắng chiều mưa”

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Sài Gòn vẫn rất dễ thương
Cái tên dù lạ con đường vẫn quen

Tôi hay “viện dẫn” hai câu thơ của mình mỗi khi phải hồi âm một cánh thư xa nào đó, thường là câu hỏi “Sài Gòn bây giờ ra sao?”

Thật ra trong cảm nhận của tôi, Sài Gòn vẫn thế. Bởi dù trải qua nhiêu bao biến cố thăng trầm, thì Sài Gòn, Hòn Ngọc Viễn Đông, thủ đô trong những trái tim miền Nam ngày nào vẫn không bao giờ thay đổi. Sài Gòn của một thời tôi mới lớn, những “con đường tình ta đi” Duy Tân, Trần Quý Cáp, Tú Xương, Công Lý. Những chiều bát phố Lê Lợi, Tự Do. Những rạp cine. Món bánh tôm hẻm Casino (Sài Gòn). Những xe bò viên Nguyễn Thiện Thuật. Bánh mì thịt trước chợ Trương Minh Giảng, gỏi đu đủ – khô bò – nước mía Viễn Đông (góc Lê Lợi – Pasteur)

Sài Gòn của tôi “sáng nắng chiều mưa”. Mưa như được lập trình sẵn. Hoặc chiều hoặc sáng, có khi… cùng giờ nên người Sài Gòn có thể nhởn nhơ bát phố khi “cơn mưa qua”, rất ít khi mưa như… đòi nợ, điều này những năm gần đây hình như thay đổi, mưa dầm và mưa… mất trật tự, người Sài Gòn vốn quen kiểu “xưa” chẳng biết đâu mà lần! Nắng Sài Gòn không quá gắt. Có lẽ nhờ thế nên mới chợt mát chỉ qua màu áo lụa Hà Đông.

Sài Gòn của tôi có những ngôi trường đi vào thơ và nhạc như Văn Khoa, Luật, Gia Long, Trưng Vương, những con đường địa chỉ báo như Lê Lai, Phạm Ngũ Lão… Hồn đất và hồn người quyện nhau hồn hậu, chân tình.

Sài Gòn của tôi quốc vương Cam-bốt từng du học, người Sài Gòn chê hàng Thái, không thèm xài Colgate vì đã có kem Hynos “anh yêu em, anh yêu luôn kem” xịn hơn.

Sài Gòn của tôi trẻ – luôn luôn trẻ. Không phải vì thiếu phố cổ hay người Sài Gòn không thích “ra vẻ cụ” mà vì Sài Gòn luôn luôn mới, hồn nhiên và dễ thương, không điệu đà, kệch cỡm.

Sài Gòn của tôi còn nhiều hơn thế. Không diễn tả hết dù văn hóa cách mấy. Chỉ giản dị như lời hát “Sài Gòn đẹp lắm! Sài Gòn ơi! Sài Gòn ơi!”

Không lớn lao gì, kỷ niệm chỉ chứa đầy ngăn cặp học trò. Sự ồn ào sống động, dễ thương của vùng đất và con người. Đi xa, cứ về đến cầu Sài Gòn hay cầu Bình Điền là coi như đến nhà.

Như bạn bè cùng trang lứa, tôi giữ Sài Gòn như giữ chính cuộc đời mình. Khóc một ngày khi thương xá Tam Đa bị thiêu rụi. Thức một đêm khi Eden bị đập bỏ. Có thể thay vào sẽ là một tòa nhà đẹp hơn, nhưng Eden của ngày nào:

“Qua hành lang Eden ghi kỷ niệm
Buổi chiều mưa hai đứa đứng bên thềm
Anh che cho em khỏi ướt tà áo tím
Anh quen rồi, không lạnh – lính mà em!”
Thì không bao giờ còn nữa

Vẫn biết có những sự đổi thay tốt hơn, đôi khi cần thiết, nhưng sao vẫn thấy chạnh lòng. Hơn sáu mươi năm hãnh diện làm “dân Sài Gòn”. Bỗng chợt giật mình tự hỏi, có khi nào người ta phù phép để Sài Gòn biến mất không nhỉ? Có khi nào Vương Cung Thánh Đường, chợ Bến Thành, bưu điện Sài Gòn, một sớm mai thức dậy người Sài Gòn ngơ ngác hay tin sẽ trở thành trung tâm thương mại, cao ốc chọc trời…

Ôi! Sài Gòn của tôi!!

Tôi vẫn nói vui rằng mình giữ lại “Sài Gòn xưa”. Từng tên đường, góc phố, giữ lại những buổi chiều hẹn hò: “Uống ly chanh đường, uống môi em ngọt” và giữ lại mãi mãi,những dấu yêu xưa!

Và rồi lại buốt tim khi nghĩ đến một ngày nào “Sài Gòn của tôi” sẽ chỉ còn là hoài niệm. Vô tình ai đó sẽ tìm thấy trong những trang sách hằn dấu thời gian ở một hiệu sách cũ.

Sài Gòn ơi!

Tôi gặp lại họ rất tình cờ, trong một… tiệm sách cũ, nơi thường lưu lại những gì mà ta còn nhớ hay đã quên.

Những trang giấy đã không còn nguyên màu trắng. Những dòng chữ như cũng nhạt theo năm tháng. Nhưng hình ảnh, dù phôi pha, thì nụ cười, ánh mắt cũng gợi nhớ một thời ta đã sống. Thời mà tên tuổi họ trên môi người hâm mộ Nghệ thuật thứ bảy, và họ được gọi một cách trang trọng là tài tử minh tinh.

Chưa xa lắm nhưng cũng đủ để quên những gì không muốn nhớ. Khi mà muốn xem phim người ta không thể làm gì khác hơn là đến rạp, và cứ có phim hay là rạp chật như nêm… Và rạp hát nào cũng treo đầy ảnh minh tinh tài tử, không phải Hồng Kông, Hàn Quốc như bây giờ mà toàn Việt Nam. Tôi say mê điện ảnh, dù chư tới tuổi “đến rạp một mình” và yêu họ, dĩ nhiên…

Dạo đó chưa có những chương trình giao lưu, tài tử điện ảnh, ca sĩ tân nhạc cũng chưa phải “chạy sô” như bây giờ. Họ coi nghệ thuật như cứu cánh của đam mê và cả cuộc sống thực tế, nghề tay trái hầu như không có.

Chẳng ai nghe nói Thẩm Thúy Hằng phải đi… biểu diễn tân nhạc để kiếm thêm, cũng không thấy Kiều Chinh tham gia chương trình “đại nhạc hội”. Họ cũng chẳng đóng cùng lúc hai, ba phim như các diễn viên “đắt khách” bây giờ. Dù đó là những tên tuổi lớn của điện ảnh Sài Gòn thuở ấy, những tên tuổi mà lứa tuổi 40, 50 hôm nay, nếu yêu điện ảnh khó mà quên được.

Một Kiều Chinh tuyệt vời trong “Hồi Chuông Thiên Mụ”, Thẩm Thúy Hằng với “Người Đẹp Bình Dương”, Kiều Nguyệt Nga – Thu Trang trong “Lục Vân Tiên”, Túy Phượng diễm kiều với vai Công chúa của “Thạch Sanh – Lý Thông”…Tôi yêu nét thùy mị của Thu Trang, vẻ sắc sảo của Kiều Chinh, và nét đẹp duyên dáng Thẩm Thúy Hằng. Nam tài tử có La Thoại Tân, Anh Tứ, Lê Quỳnh, Anh Sơn, Đoàn Châu Mậu, Tâm Phan, Huy Cường, Trần Quang… Vân Hùng chuyên đóng kịch với kỳ nữ Kim Cương, thỉnh thoảng cũng “lên phim”. Rất nhiều, thời nào thì nghệ thuật cũng cần rất nhiều. Dù trong số họ không phải ai cũng đến được vinh quang, và để hoàn thành tác phẩm nghệ thuật, không chỉ có diễn viên chính.

Tình cờ gặp lại họ trong tiệm sách cũ. Nơi mà quá khứ lẫn với hiện tại, nơi mà thời gian chừng như bất lực, tôi thấy chút vui pha lẫn ngậm ngùi khi bắt gặp Lê Hoàng Hoa thời “mới làm quen với máy quay”, một Lê Mộng Hoàng hơn ba mươi năm về trước vẫn nhăn nhó… như bây giờ. Nụ cười Kiều Chinh và ánh mắt Thu Trang vẫn còn đó.

Một thời tôi đã lớn lên cùng với tên tuổi họ. Rồi tất cả bỗng như không còn, bỗng như chưa từng có. Người ta trôi theo nhịp sống bằng những cách khác nhau, và lưu giữ hay xóa đi dĩ vãng tùy thuộc mỗi người. Có điều chắc chắn rằng những gì đã có thì vẫn còn đâu đó, và ta sẽ gặp khi tình cờ một lúc nào đó đảo ngược được thời gian…

Và… thời gian đã đảo ngược với tôi, trong một tiệm sách cũ… Tình cờ!

LÝ THỤY Ý

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